transition

what does it mean to transition?

The word "transition" generally refers to the process of change. In the context of gender, when we talk about transition, we're talking about the process of changing aspects of one's self to better align with their gender identity.

Not every transgender person transitions the same way. Some aspects of transitioning aren't necessary for some people because they are already happy with certain parts of who they are and don't see a reason for changing them. Some transgender people start their transition later than they might like, or start transitioning and stop because it isn't safe for them to transition, they don't have the resources or money to continue, or just because it no longer feels right to them. Some people achieve their transition goals and decide to stop there. Some people even detransition after they go through the process of discovering their gender identity, though it is pretty rare (citation).

We can look at transition through a few different categories: social, legal, and physical.

social transition

Social transition is when a transgender person begins to live authentically as their gender in social settings, including at school, at home, among friends and family, at work, etc. These are usually, but not always, the first steps someone might take when they come out as transgender and begin their transition.

Social transitioning might include:

Using a new name
Using different pronouns
Trying a new hairstyle or getting a haircut
Wearing different styles of clothes
Trying new styles of expression with makeup, nails, body hair, and more
Using gender affirming items
- Binders, packers, gaffs, breast forms, etc.

resources for social transition

Are you beginning to think about trying out some new ways to express your gender? Maybe you've already come out and you are starting to socially transition. Your local LGBTQ+ center can provide a lot of help connecting you to resources near you, but there are also great resources available online that can help.

Haircuts & styles
- Strands for Trans - directory of transgender affirming hairstylists and salons
- Dress Code Project - gender-affirming hairstyling support, resources, and events, including a directory
Gender affirming clothing
- Collection of free clothing resources for trans folks from Point of Pride
- List of (some) gender affirming closets in the US from Trans Resource Wiki
- Most universities have gender affirming closets where you can get free clothing & gender affirming gear. Many LGBTQ+ centers also host free gender affirming closets, clothing exchanges or swaps, or can help connect you to free or low-cost clothing resources near you.
- Trans Wardrobe Project - free stylist and clothing for trans people over 17
Gender affirming gear
- Point of Pride - an organization that offers free binders, gaffs, and shapewear shipped to you. They also have funds for trans people who need financial assistance for gender affirming hormone therapy, surgery, and hair removal.
- The Queer Trans Project Build a Queer Kits - free gender affirming gear, makeup, self care items, and more.
- Origami Customs - a gender-affirming gear maker that donates free gender affirming gear to local LGBTQ+ centers for distribution; directory included!

pronouns

Pronouns are a part of speech, just like nouns, verbs, or adjectives. Pronouns are words that take the place of a noun, usually someone's name, when we refer to them.Everyone uses pronouns, not just transgender people. Using the correct pronouns shows respect for someone, since most people use pronouns that reflect their gender identity.

If you're not sure what pronouns someone uses, just ask them! You can also introduce yourself with your pronouns to show people that you are a safe person to share their pronouns with. Try one of the following:

Hi! I'm [your name]. My pronouns are he/him. What about you?
What are your pronouns?
Can you remind me what pronouns you use?

using pronouns

Most people are used to either he/him or she/her pronouns. Usually, but not always, boys and men use he/him pronouns, and girls and women use she/her pronouns. Transgender and nonbinary people can also use these pronouns. If a transgender person changes their pronouns, start using their new ones!

The most common gender neutral pronouns are they/them. You might be used to using they/them pronouns to refer to multiple people, but they can also be used to refer to a single person. They/them pronouns can be used by anyone, but usually they are used by nonbinary transgender people, or when talking about a person whose gender or pronouns are unknown. To use singular they/them pronouns, just put them into a sentence where "he" or "she" would go. For example:

Dax went to the store today. I saw them there. They were buying new shoes.

There are also neopronouns (neo = new), which can be used by people who don't feel like other pronouns fit them. Some common neopronouns include xe/xem, ze/zir, and fae/faer. To use neopronouns, just put them into a sentence where "he" or "she" would go. For example:

Zara and I got boba together today. Ze got brown sugar milk tea. I bought it for zir.

Some people use more than one pronoun, like "he/they" or "xe/she". If you know someone who uses multiple pronouns, you can ask them if they prefer for you to use one more than the other, or different pronouns in different settings. Otherwise, try to switch it up and use them alternately!

misgendering

Misgendering is what happens when someone uses the wrong pronouns or incorrectly gendered language to refer to someone, usually a transgender person. Cisgender people can be misgendered, too, and it can feel bad to them also.

Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, especially if the person you're referring to has recently changed their pronouns, or if they use pronouns you haven't used much before. If you make a mistake and misgender someone, don't panic. Instead:

Briefly acknowledge your mistake: "Oops, I'm sorry."
- Don't apologize excessively — that draws more attention to the mistake, and if the person you're talking about is present, it can pressure them to make you feel better about the error.
Correct yourself: "I meant she went to the concert with me."
Move on!

If you hear someone else misgender someone else, the same ideas apply. Correct them, remind them of the other person's pronouns, and move on!

For example: "Jesse actually uses he/him pronouns, remember?"

play with pronouns

Are you thinking about trying out a different name or pronouns? Play with some new options using the pronoun dressing room!

Learning to use someone else's pronouns? Try Minus 18's game to practice using all kinds of pronouns.

gender affirming gear

Gender affirming gear refers to items that can help alleviate gender dysphoria or help someone feel good about their external presentation and expression. Nobody needs to use gender affirming gear to be trans, but these items can help trans & nonbinary folks feel like their external gender expression is more aligned with their gender identity.

binders & trans tape

Binding involves the compression of the chest/breast tissue to create the appearance of a flatter, smaller chest. Binding can help reduce gender dysphoria or make you feel better about the appearance of your body. Anyone of any gender can bind! While typically people think of transgender men or AFAB nonbinary people binding, some cis women bind their chests, and some cis men with gynecomastia bind, too. Anyone who wants to have the appearance of a flatter chest can bind, as long as they do so safely.

Never use anything as a binder that is not intended for the use of binding. This includes ACE bandages, duct tape, plastic wrap, etc.
Do not bind for longer than 8 hours straight. If you start to feel pain when you breathe or discomfort from your binder, remove it ASAP.
Never sleep or exercise in a binder. Switch to a sports bra if you still want some compression.
For swimming, special swim binders can be an options, though if you're looking for something more accessible and affordable, you can try wearing a sports bra or rash guard for swimming.
Never wear multiple binders at once.
Wash your binder regularly. Check the tag to make sure you are washing and drying it correctly so it doesn’t shrink.
When purchasing a binder, make sure you measure yourself to make sure you are wearing the right size, and use the company’s size chart to determine what size is right for you. When in doubt, size up! Wearing a binder that is too small for you can cause injury.

click here to download our info guide on binding!

click here to download our info guide on trans tape!

bra padding & breast forms

Some people like to use bra padding or prosthetics to give their chest the appearance of being fuller. Padding can help reduce gender dysphoria or make you feel better about the appearance of your body.

Breast forms are prosthetic options, usually made of silicone, that are designed to look like a realistic breast with nipples. Bra inserts can refer to breast forms, too, but they also include less realistic options that serve the same purpose. Bra inserts are usually made of a soft material like foam.

To use padding, you'll need to wear a bra, which you can then put your choice of insert inside of. Some bras, usually called "pocket bras", even have special pockets to hold bra inserts. Getting the right size of bra can be confusing, but it'll be a lot more comfortable if you are wearing a bra that fits you! You can learn how to size yourself for a bra at home; all you need is a soft tape measure. Try this guide to bra sizing for transfeminine folks.

Art by Grace Crowley

Lots of people use bra padding and inserts, not just trans people — many cis women wear padded bras to give themselves the appearance of having a larger chest, and many use breast forms if they have had a mastectomy (removal of the breast tissue) for medical reasons. Some drag queens use breast forms, too!
There are a LOT of options for different types of bras. There are sports bras, training bras, bralettes, t-shirt bras, front-closure bras, padded bras, and even more. If you have a broad chest and shoulders, a front closure bra can be a great option to try, and they're also easier to put on and take off if you're new to wearing a bra. If you find underwire bras uncomfortable, bralettes or sports bras can be softer and easier to wear for longer amounts of time.
Breast forms come in several options. Different brands offer different skin tones and sizes, so you can match your natural skin tone and choose the amount of projection that makes you feel affirmed!
You can use bra padding even if you have some breast tissue, like if you are on HRT and have started to have breast grown. Some bra padding is specifically designed to "push up" your existing breast tissue, while others just add to the chest projection without pushing up.
Wash your bras regularly, about once per week or every few times you wear it. Check the tag to make sure you are washing and drying it correctly. Most bras need to be washed on delicate cycles and air dried.

click here to check out urBasics's full guide to bras & inserts for transfeminine people!

gaffs & tucking underwear

Tucking involves concealing external genitalia like the penis and testes to create a more smooth, flat appearance in the pelvic area. Tucking could help reduce gender dysphoria, make you feel good about the appearance of your body, or help you feel safer in public spaces. Gaffs are special compressive undergarments designed to help create the smooth, flat appearance you might want. Gaffs can be worn with or without tucking, making them a great option for everyday wear. Tucking or wearing a gaff might be uncomfortable, especially at first, but it should never be painful. If you're feeling pain, you might need to take a break, size up, or adjust your tuck.

Image by Samuel Luke Art

When purchasing a gaff or tucking underwear, make sure you measure yourself to make sure you are wearing the right size, and use the company’s size chart to determine what size is right for you. When in doubt, size up! Wearing a gaff that is too small for you can cause injury.
There are some risks associated with tucking, especially if you don't adhere to best practices for safety. Tucking might impact fertility, so if you think you might want biological children some day, talk to your doctor about fertility preservation options before you start tucking. Some other possible side effects of tucking include urinary tract or skin infections, testicular discomfort, or chafing.
Never use anything as a gaff that is not intended for the use of tucking. You might see people recommend using tape to get a tighter tuck, but never use non-medical tape to tuck; it can result in major skin irritation or unintentional hair removal. Ouch!
Do not tuck for longer than 4-8 hours at a time. If you start to feel pain from your tuck or gaff, remove it ASAP.
Wash your gaffs and tucking underwear regularly. Check the tag to make sure you are washing and drying it correctly so it doesn’t shrink.

click here to check out fenway health's guide to all things tucking!

packers & STPs

Packing involves using an object or prosthetic device to create the feeling and appearance of a "bulge". Packing can help reduce gender dysphoria or make you feel good about the appearance of your body. Packing is an option for transgender men or nonbinary transmasculine people.

STPs are devices that allow someone to stand to pee whose anatomy wouldn't otherwise allow them to. Using an STP can help reduce dysphoria for people who are uncomfortable sitting to pee, and they can even increase safety for trans people in public bathrooms.

Packers & STPs come in all kinds — there are realistic prosthetic options that look like penises, and there are functional options that do the job but don't have to look that way. Packers also come in different skin tones. Some people just use whatever they have on hand to create the image they are looking for — rolled up socks are a common choice! There are even all-in-one combination packer/STP options.
Some people use packing underwear to keep their packer in place, but you can also just place your packer inside your underwear or pants. Some packers can also be worn using a special strap or harness.
It takes time to get good at using an STP. Practice using your STP in the shower before you take it out in public to avoid any mishaps.
It's super important to keep your packers & STPs clean. Wash your packers with warm water & soap daily, and your STPs after each use.

click here to check out fenway health's guide to all things packing!

Image by Samuel Luke Art

legal transition

Legal transition is when a transgender person takes steps to legally affirm their gender.

Legal transitioning may include:

Legal name and gender marker changes
Getting new IDs
Updating name and gender marker with schools, work, and on other official docs

Not every transgender person chooses to undergo legal transition. Sometimes, trans folks don't want to (or need to) change their name or gender marker legally. Some people don't have the ability to due to laws and policies where they live, financial barriers, accessibility issues, or opposition from parents or guardians.

guides for legal transition

For name & gender marker changes (state by state)

For help with school

physical transition

Physical or medical transition is when a transgender person takes steps to physically change their body to better align with their gender identity, alleviate gender dysphoria, and express themselves in a way that feels good to them.

Physical transitioning may include:

Gender affirming hormone therapy (also called hormone replacement therapy)
Gender affirming surgeries
Hair removal procedures
Vocal congruence training

Not every transgender person chooses to undergo physical or medical transition. Sometimes, trans folks don't want to change their bodies; you can be transgender and still feel comfortable with your body. Some people don't have the ability to undergo aspects of physical transition due to laws and policies where they live, financial barriers, accessibility issues, or opposition from parents or guardians.

To learn more about physical/medical transition, visit the gender affirming care page.

transition & sex

Transitioning can have a big impact on your sex life and the way you engage with dating, relationships, and sex.

What you feel comfortable wearing or doing with a partner sexually might change. If you had dysphoria, you might have felt better covering up parts of your body that you are now happy to show off after you experience changes from HRT or surgery. You might not have been willing to try certain sexual activities before, but decreased dysphoria (and increased euphoria!) as you transition might help you feel more comfortable trying new things with your partner(s).
Who you date and how you identify might change. The way you identify might change once you come out or start transitioning. For example, if you are a transgender girl, before your transition you might have appeared to others as a straight guy, but after your transition, you might identify as a lesbian. People who might not have seen you as a possible sexual partner before your transition might be open to dating you or having sex with you now, and vice versa — straight girls are probably not a dating option anymore! Some trans people prefer to only date and have sex with other trans people; that's called being t4t, or trans for trans. Learn more about t4t relationships here.
The language you use, and want your partner to use, for your body might change. Trans folks all have different preferences about what terms they use to describe their body parts. It might take some trial and error before you figure out which ones are right for you. You might be comfortable using gendered anatomical terms, or slang terms might feel better to you. Read more about options for body terminology on our anatomy page.
Your physical body might change. If you choose to access gender affirming hormone therapy or surgeries, parts of your body will change that can impact how you engage with sexual activity. Read more about these changes on our gender affirming care page.
- Genital changes from HRT: bottom growth, vaginal atrophy, decrease in volume of penis and testicles, decrease in ejaculate
- Other body changes from HRT: chest growth or atrophy, changes in skin sensitivity, body hair increase/decrease
- Changes in libido from HRT: you might feel more or less drive to engage in sexual activity if you are on HRT.
- Changes to orgasms: lots of trans people report that their experiences of orgasms change when they are on HRT, or especially after bottom surgery.
- Brand new body parts from surgery: if you undergo bottom surgery, of course that results in major changes to your genitals that will impact how you have sex.

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