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gender
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what is gender?
There are a lot of things that contribute to one's gender, but these are some of the most important.
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Sex: a mix of characteristics including chromosomes, anatomy, and primary and secondary sex characteristics; usually assigned when someone is born based on assumptions about their body
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Gender identity: someone’s personal sense of their self and gender; can be based on social constructs; can be fluid and change
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Gender expression: the way that we physically express ourselves through outward appearance; can be fluid & change
People experience their gender in different ways. Most people fall into one or more of the following categories.
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Cisgender: someone whose gender identity aligns with the sex they were assigned at birth
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Transgender: someone whose gender identity does not align with the sex they were assigned at birth
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Nonbinary: someone whose gender identity is not exclusively male or female; a nonbinary person may also identify as transgender
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Intersex: someone with unique variations of their reproductive or sex anatomy; can include chromosomes, genitals, or internal organs like testes or ovaries
gender roles
In our society, we are constantly exposed to certain rigid ideas about how people of certain genders should look, act, and live their lives — these are gender roles. Usually, these expectations and stereotypes are associated with either boys and men or girls and women. The characterization of gender as two separate and opposing categories is called the gender binary. In reality, gender isn't binary; there are way more than two genders, and gender isn't only defined by "maleness" and "femaleness". Our understanding of gender has evolved from the gender binary, to a gender spectrum, to a whole big universe of gender possibilities! There's no perfect way to visualize all of the possibilities of gender, and our understanding of gender will always be evolving, but take a look at the visualization on the right for an example.​​
gender is more like this,
not that!
Gender roles can make people feel like they need to act a certain way to be accepted. If someone goes outside of the gendered expectations that society imposes on them, they risk being rejected by friends, family, and employers. Often, people associate acting outside of traditional gender roles with being queer or trans, and so acting or appearing to be traditionally gender non-conforming can result in someone being labeled as LGBTQ+, even if they're not. We even have names for people who defy gender roles, and they usually aren't so nice; have you ever heard someone called a tomboy or a sissy?
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We enforce gender roles through the way we talk, not just with name calling. Have you ever heard anyone say "man up"? What about "you throw like a girl"? Maybe you notice from these examples; the ways we talk about gender are often rooted in misogyny, or ingrained prejudice against women. This doesn't just hurt women, though. Boys and men can struggle with the effects of living in a society that looks down on anything it deems feminine, often resulting in them trying to hide their true feelings or interests to avoid being called names or rejected by others for being "too girly".​
gender roles in relationships
Gender roles are also heavily imposed in relationships and sexual settings. Can you think of any ways that boys are "supposed to" act in relationships? What about how girls are "supposed to" act? Typically, boys and men are depicted as more dominant in romantic and sexual relationships, while girls and women are expected to act more submissive. Men are expected to pay for things, not express their emotions, and want to have sex more often. Women are expected to take care of their partner's needs, be more emotional, and have little to no interest in sex.
These relational stereotypes can make things confusing for everyone, but especially for queer people and those who love them. Lots of straight folks project their ideas about gender roles in relationships onto queer people, even going so far as to ask rude and invasive questions, like "So who's the man and who's the woman in the relationship?"
​Read more about the impact of gender on queer relationships and sex on the queer sex page.
play with gender roles
Gender roles impact everyone, and they impact (almost) everything. Even for the smallest things, there is often some kind of gender stereotype associated with it. There are gendered expectations about who can enjoy which hobbies, work different jobs, have certain personality traits, like different movies, music, games, and books, and pretty much everything else you can think of. Even if you don't want to uphold these stereotypes, you probably have been exposed to them. Start with some of the examples below, and then add some more that you can think of.
what do you associate with men & boys?
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the color blue
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being tough
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construction work
what do you associate with women & girls?
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the color pink
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being sensitive
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being a nurse
what can you think of that isn't gendered?
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the color yellow
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liking animals
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singing
How difficult (or easy) was it to think of things to fit into each category?
How can we work towards reducing the gendered associations we all have towards different jobs, hobbies, personality traits, physical characteristics, etc.?
gender identity & expression
How do you know what your gender is?
Kids start to have a sense of their own gender at around 3 years old. But what does that really mean? What about you is connected to your gender?
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We've explored a few different ways of looking at gender. To some, physical traits like hair, facial features, and genitals are deeply connected to their gender. Others may focus more on personality traits to inform their understanding of gender, considering traits like ambition, emotionality, and aggression. Many of us even ascribe gender to social factors like occupations, hobbies, and even someone's likes and dislikes. But as we now know, gender isn't determined by these external factors, and someone's gender identity can't always be identified just by looking at them.
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What makes you feel connected to your gender outside of physical traits? Do any of the traits that are important to your gender surprise you, or defy traditional gender stereotypes?
gender is complex!​​
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Now that you've learned more about gender, check out The Gender Unicorn. This graphic can help us better understand how gender identity, expression, sex assigned at birth, sexual orientation, and romantic orientation are all different, while still being interconnected. Can you point out where your identities fit in on the Gender Unicorn?
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Learn more about how sexual orientation and gender are related on the sexual orientation page.
transgender identities
What does it mean to be transgender?
As we already mentioned, anyone whose gender identity does not align with the gender that they were assigned at birth is transgender. There are lots of different transgender identities that fall under the transgender "umbrella", which we can group into two categories: binary and nonbinary.
Some nonbinary people don't identify as transgender, but most do, since a nonbinary person's gender identity is also different than the gender they were assigned at birth. Next, explore some transgender identities to learn more about ​how different people might describe their gender.
Source: Victoria Barron
(some) transgender identities
and their pride flags!
transgender woman
a person who identifies as a woman but was not assigned female at birth
a person who identifies as a man but was not assigned male at birth
transgender man
nonbinary
an umbrella term for identities outside of the traditional gender binary
genderqueer
an umbrella term for identities outside of the traditional gender binary; sometimes used interchangeably with nonbinary
a gender identity that is not fixed; someone who experiences their gender differently at different times
genderfluid
agender
a gender identity where someone does not identify with a gender, or feels genderless
xenogender
an umbrella term for gender identities that do not relate to traditional understandings of human femininity, masculinity, or androgyny
Want to learn more about different transgender identities?
These are some of the most common, but there are many more!
Check out the LGBTQIA+ wiki for more on other gender identities.
there is no right or wrong way to experience gender.
Whether you are cisgender, transgender, nonbinary, gender-nonconforming, or something else entirely - your experience of your gender is real and valid. Being transgender is natural!​​
gender science​​
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There's a lot more to gender than just what we can see on the outside, or just what is happening inside our bodies. We actually have lots of research into what is happening in the brains of transgender people. For example, neurobiological studies have shown that the brain of a transgender person is more similar to the brain of a cisgender person that shares their gender identity than a cisgender person who shares their sex assigned at birth. However, transgender people actually have unique neurobiology; our brains aren't exactly like cisgender people's. Scientists are still learning more about why and how our brains differ and impact our gender.
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Check out the video below to learn more about the science behind being trans!
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Source: Mueller et al. (2021). The Neuroanatomy of Transgender Identity.​
Source: ASAPScience, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MitqjSYtwrQ
gender throughout world history​​
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There is so much rich history of cultures around the world rejecting the gender binary, accepting transgender people, and having gender roles that function differently than they do in Western/Eurocentric cultures.
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Check out some of the diverse gender identities that have existed throughout history in different world cultures!
Source: PBS, Independent Lens, 2023
gender in the natural world​​
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Throughout our planet, gender is much more diverse than just "male" and "female". Of course, species other than humans are biologically very different than us. Almost all species of animals have differences across chromosomes, genitals, and other characteristics that are linked to sex.​
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Other species of animals also demonstrate to us that gender is fluid in nature. Several species of frogs and other amphibians can change their sex in response to environmental factors.¹ Clownfish are all born male, and when the female leader dies, one of the males will biologically change to become female.² Some female lions have even been observed growing manes and mating with other females!​³â€‹
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1: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/frogs-reverse-sex-more-often-than-thought
2: https://www.worldwildlife.org/resources/explainers/are-there-queer-animals/
gender dysphoria & euphoria
What is gender dysphoria?
Gender dysphoria is the distress that someone feels when their internal sense of their gender identity is misaligned with their body, gender expression, or social roles. Not every trans person experiences gender dysphoria, but many do; each trans person has their own experience with dysphoria. Different things might cause dysphoria for different people, too — while some might feel intense dysphoria around their chest, for example, other trans folks might only be mildly bothered by theirs, or not at all.
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Gender dysphoria is also a clinical diagnosis that might be used by your therapist, psychiatrist, doctor, or surgeon. Your provider will talk through this diagnosis with you if you want; even though you might not experience gender dysphoria, many gender affirming health care providers and health insurance companies still require that diagnosis in order to provide or cover care.
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What is gender euphoria?
Gender euphoria is the flip side to dysphoria. It's when you feel great about yourself and your gender. Trans folks might feel gender euphoria from:
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being affirmed by others, like being addressed with the correct name & pronouns
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from their style and presentation, like by wearing clothes or styling their hair in a way that feels true to themselves
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engaging in hobbies & activities that feel authentic to their interests, especially if they were discouraged from them in the past due to gender role enforcement
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being in community with other trans & queer people
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& so much more!
Anyone can feel gender euphoria, not just trans people! We all have moments where we feel really good about our self expression and how we're perceived by others.
What are some things that make you feel great about yourself in your gender?​​
Tips for feeling gender euphoria & trans joy
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find things you love about yourself and emphasize them with your personal style
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come up with affirmations and repeat them to yourself — could be related to your gender and trans identity or not
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be in community with other trans people & those who affirm you
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​find trans role models and consume happy trans stories (in real life and fiction!)
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pour into others; use your strengths and talents to support those you love. Cook a meal, make a craft, give a ride — whatever showing up looks like to you!
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check out a trans joy guide or hear from other trans folks about what brings them joy. Here are some options: Folx Trans Joy Guide or Trans Joy Stories
hear more from queer & trans adults
What makes you feel gender euphoria?
What about during intimate or sexual encounters?