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safe relationships
Relationships are a huge part of everyone's lives. Humans are social beings, and we have so many ways of connecting with each other relationally. You might not have every type of relationship in your life, but you definitely have at least one of the following:
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romantic: a relationship with someone you love or desire romantically
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sexual: a relationship with someone you engage in sexual activity with
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platonic: a friendship
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familial: a relationship with someone in your family who may be related to you
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professional: a relationship with someone at school, work, or a community organization; could be a teacher, a boss, a mentor, a religious leader, an advisor, etc.
Every relationship is unique, and even for relationships of the same type, they won't operate the same exact way. There are tons of factors that shape how you and other people will interact with each other and the world around you.
relational wellbeing
Do you feel satisfied with all of the relationships in your life? Do you feel like you have the support and connection you need? Relational wellbeing is related to the strength and security of our interpersonal connections. Meaningful relationships with other people are key to our overall wellbeing. If we do not have the quality of relationships that we need, we could feel lonely, isolated, and unsupported. People with strong relational wellbeing have a well-functioning, positive relationship with themself as well as the people around them, resulting in lower rates of anxiety and depression, higher self-esteem, and even improved physical health¹.
To foster relational wellbeing in your own life, try to:
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Improve your relationship with yourself through self-reflection, therapy, etc.
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Communicate your feelings and relational needs with the people you have established relationships with.
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Be there for the people in your life when they need you. Reach out to your loved ones, show up for important events, and listen when they need to talk.
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Build new connections by joining community or school events and groups, talking to new people you meet, or volunteering with a local organization.
Source 1: APA, 2023.
intimacy
Intimacy is the feeling of closeness and connection we can have in an interpersonal relationship. Relationships are all built on shared intimacy, but there are many ways that intimacy can show up. The basis for your connection with someone else shapes how you'll interact with them and others in different contexts.
Ask yourself...
What kinds of intimacy do I want?
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Physical
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What ways do I want to be touched by someone else, if any?
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Emotional
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How do I want to share my feelings and inner self with another person?
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Intellectual
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What topics and conversations do I want to discuss and explore with someone else?
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Experiential
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What experiences do I want to share with someone else?
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Spiritual
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What spiritual practices do I want to share with someone else?
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relational conflict
Some conflict in relationships is normal, but it's not fun for anyone when conflicts take over your interactions. So when is relational conflict okay, and when is it not?
healthy
relational conflict
unhealthy
relational conflict
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Verbal communication is calm and respectful, even during a fight
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Uses "I" statements to communicate feelings about the source of conflict
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Actively listens and validates partner's feelings during the conflict
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Non-verbal communication can include nodding, eye contact, body turned towards the partner, etc.
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Conflict stays focused on the source; does not turn to past grievances
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Able to take breaks from conflict if things get too intense
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Partnership grows through the communication about the conflict
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All partners are willing to compromise to achieve resolution
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Verbal communication may include yelling, name-calling, interrupting, etc.
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Partners may be overly critical or insulting towards each other during conflicts; could blame partner for all problems
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Non-verbal communication could include eye-rolling, arm crossing, physically turning away, etc.
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Physical aggression towards each other may be present during conflicts; can include throwing objects, choking, hitting/kicking, abusing pets, etc.
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Partners may violate boundaries during conflict by bringing up off-limits topics
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Refusal to compromise on a solution even if it would benefit all partners
conflict resolution
When, not if, you experience conflict in your relationships, you can help to resolve the problem more easily if you use some strategies for healthy conflict resolution.
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Set ground rules for conflicts with your partner. What things might someone say or do during a conflict that you want to set as off-limits?
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Speak from your own perspective. Don't assume what your partner is thinking or feeling, or anticipate what they might respond.
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Avoid blaming and accept responsibility. Try not to place the blame for your feelings or the current problem on your partner alone. Be willing to apologize, too!
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Assume your partner has good intentions. If you expect that your partner is trying to hurt you or take advantage of you, it'll be hard to reach a resolution.
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Avoid disrespect. Never yell, act aggressive, or intentionally insult your partner.
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Actively listen when your partner is speaking. Try to avoid preparing your responses while your partner is still communicating.
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Keep your desired outcome in mind. If you value your relationship and want to resolve the present conflict, remind yourself that your words and actions have the power to either improve or hurt your relationship.