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safer sex
having safer sex
Maybe you've heard the phrase "safe sex" before, but the reality is, there's no way to have sex that comes totally free of risks. Still, most of us will engage in sexual activity with other people at some point, and if you do, you want to do so as safely as possible. Having safer sex is about taking steps to protect yourself and your partner(s) from contracting a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or having an unintended pregnancy.
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The most effective way to avoid STIs or unintended pregnancy? Not having sex or engaging in sexual activity with other people at all — that's called abstinence. Some people choose to be abstinent until they are married, reach a certain age, or are with a partner they want to be sexually intimate with. If you do decide to engage in sexual activity with other people, you still have options for having safer sex! Some of the best ways to avoid STIs include using barrier methods and contraceptives (aka birth control)— more on those below. ​
​It's important to think about your sexual health before you start having sex with someone. If you and your potential sexual partner get tested for STIs beforehand and you are both only having sex with each other, there is a much lower risk for you to contract an STI. Consider limiting the number of sexual partners you have to reduce the chances of exposing yourself to an STI. You and your sexual partner(s) should also discuss getting regular STI testing & sexual health checkups to ensure that nothing has changed. How often you should get tested depends on how many sexual partners you and your partner(s) have and how often you are having sex. It's a good idea to talk about how often you should get tested for STIs with your doctor.
sexually transmitted infections (STIs)
Sexually transmitted infections, or STIs, are infections that are passed between people who have engaged in sexual activity. You might have heard STIs called STDs, which stands for "sexually transmitted diseases", but it's more accurate to use the word "infection" — an infection is when germs have entered your body, while a disease is when the infection starts to damage your body. It's important to know the difference, because some people don't even realize that they have an STI since the infection can be present in your body without you having symptoms. But even if you don't have symptoms, you can still pass the STI on to another person.
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STIs are passed through sexual contact, including oral, vaginal, and anal sex, genital-to-genital contact, and any exchange of body fluids. The best way to avoid skin-to-skin contact or exchange of body fluids is to use barrier methods. There are also some ways to engage in sexual activity that don't involve contact, such as mutual masturbation or outercourse.
If you think you might have contracted an STI, don't panic! Many common STIs are easily treatable. Go to see a doctor as soon as possible to get tested. You can go to your primary care provider, an urgent care, a local sexual health clinic, or go to our page for help finding a provider. If you do have an STI, your doctor will advise you on the best way to treat it and ensure that you don't pass it on to others.
some common STIs
chlamydia
a bacterial infection; one of the most common STIs. spread through vaginal, anal, and oral sex. most people have no symptoms, and it is easily cured with antibiotics, but can be serious if untreated.
gonorrhea
a bacterial infection; one of the most common STIs. spread through vaginal, anal, and oral sex. most people have no symptoms, and it is easily cured with antibiotics, but can be serious if untreated.
HPV
(human papilloma virus)
a virus and the most common STI; almost everyone gets HPV at some point in their lives. most people have no symptoms and it usually goes away on its own. However, some strains of HPV cause genital warts or some types of cancer.
herpes
a common virus that stays in your body for life; spreads through skin to skin contact, including any kind of sexual activity and even kissing.
causes sores on the mouth and genitals.
no cure, but medication helps manage symptoms.
genital warts
a result of HPV.
genital warts appear around the genitals and anus. spreads through skin to skin contact. may go away on its own, but can be treated by a doctor.
a common STI caused by a parasite spread through sexual body fluids. sometimes there are no symptoms, but can cause vaginitis, resulting in pain or itching, frequent burning urination, and bad-smelling discharge.
easily cured with antibiotics.
trichomoniasis
(trich)
hepatitis B
a liver infection caused by a virus that spreads through contact with sexual fluids and blood. extremely contagious.
easily preventable with the hep B vaccine and use of barrier methods.
chronic hep B can be treated with antiviral medications, though there is no cure.
mycoplasma genitalium (mgen)
a common bacterial infection spread through sexual fluids. most people have no symptoms. easily cured with antibiotics, but if untreated, can result in serious health issues.
small parasites that attach to the skin and hair around the genitals. spread through close contact, usually sexual. main symptom is itching. easily treatable and not dangerous.
pubic lice
(crabs)
Want to learn more about sexually transmitted infections?
Check out Planned Parenthood's hub for info on STIs and testing.
barriers & contraceptives
There are a lot of different methods that we can use to have safer sex, some of which we've already talked about. But it's super important to know about barrier methods, since they are the most effective way of preventing the transmission of STIs, including HIV. There are also contraceptive methods that you can use alongside barrier methods to help reduce the chances of an unintended pregnancy, called birth control, as well as emergency contraceptives if your birth control methods failed or if you were unable to use birth control.
barrier methods
Barrier methods do double duty — they protect you from STIs by acting as a physical barrier between you and your partner's skin and sexual fluids, and they can also help prevent unwanted pregnancies. Barrier methods might be the most relevant to you if your sexual partners have the same kind of genitals that you do and pregnancy isn't much of a concern. There are four main kinds of barrier methods - click each image below to learn more about what they are and how to use them correctly.
external condoms
internal condoms
dental dams
finger cots & gloves
birth control
There are a lot of options for birth control methods that might work for you. Birth control should always be used alongside barrier methods, since they do not prevent against STIs, only unwanted pregnancy.
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You might not think that birth control matters if you're queer, but queer people can get pregnant and get people pregnant too! If you are having sex with someone whose reproductive organs aren't the same as yours, it's important to use birth control to avoid unwanted pregnancies. Click each image below to learn more about some methods of birth control.
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Most types of birth control are designed for people with a uterus and ovaries, and many also have side effects that can help with some of the effects of menstruation (aka periods), like cramps, excessive bleeding, and acne. Some of these methods also have other possible side effects that might be undesirable to you, such as mood changes, weight gain or loss, or nausea. It's important to talk to your doctor about all of your options to see what birth control methods might be right for you.
birth control pills
birth control patch
IUDs
birth control ring
birth control implant
birth control shot
diaphragm
birth control sponge
What about pulling out?
You may have heard of "pulling out", or the withdrawal method for birth control. This method involves pulling the penis out of the vagina before ejaculating. Unfortunately, this method does not protect against STIs, and it's not very effective at preventing pregnancy, because it's not easy to make sure that no semen gets inside the vagina if you are not also using a barrier method. Don't try this method on its own!
emergency contraception
Sometimes, barriers and birth control methods can fail, or we can fail to use them correctly or at all. Sometimes people have to use emergency contraception if they are sexually assaulted. There are three options for emergency contraception, all with different pros and cons. As always, if you're not sure which is right for you, it's best to talk to your doctor and get their advice. Click each image below to learn more about the different emergency contraception options.
copper IUD
ella
Plan B
HIV/AIDS
A brief history of HIV/AIDS
In the early 1980s, medical professionals began to see patients, mainly gay men, presenting with a new and concerning illness, which they initially thought was a type of cancer. Soon, they coined the term "gay-related immune deficiency (GRID)" for the illness, as they mistakenly thought that there was a link between being gay and the illness itself. Eventually, researchers discovered that this illness, now called AIDS, was transmitted through bodily fluids, including blood, semen, vaginal fluids, anal mucus, and even breast milk. Throughout the 1980s and '90s, over 600,000 people were diagnosed with HIV/AIDS, and over 400,000 died from the disease. In the late 1990s, antiretroviral treatments were finally developed that resulted in the number of HIV/AIDS deaths declining for the first time since the epidemic began in 1981.
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What is HIV?
HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV is a virus that attacks your body's immune system, especially T cells, weakening it and making it more susceptible to infections. Someone who has HIV is considered HIV positive (HIV+). There is no cure for HIV, but thanks to medical advancements, we now have treatments that can allow someone with HIV to stay healthy and live a normal life — that can include sex!
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What is AIDS?
AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. AIDS is the chronic disease that is caused by HIV — they are not the same thing. The long-term damage to the immune system that results from untreated HIV can cause someone to get repeated, dangerous infections that can be life-threatening — that's AIDS. Not everyone who has HIV has AIDS; in fact, it's increasingly uncommon for people who are HIV+ to ever get AIDS, since we now have treatments that stops or slows the damage from HIV.​
How does HIV spread?
HIV spreads through bodily fluids including semen, vaginal fluids, anal mucus, blood, and breast milk, but not through saliva. HIV is transmitted from the bodily fluids of an HIV+ person through open wounds on another person's skin, or through
mucous membranes like the skin of the inside of the vagina, rectum, and penis.
HIV can be spread through vaginal or anal sex, and very rarely through oral sex. If bodily fluids from an HIV+ person get into an open wound on any part of your body, you could contract HIV. HIV is also spread through sharing needles — this can happen when using drugs, getting piercings or tattoos, or accidentally if someone is stuck with a needle used by an HIV+ person.​
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Image source: Apollo 24/7
Who can contract HIV?
Anyone can contract HIV. However, HIV is more prevalent among certain groups of people due to the ways that HIV is spread, alongside risk factors like discrimination and a lack of access to preventative care. Throughout the world, transgender people and men who have sex with men are the most likely to contract HIV. People of color, people who inject drugs, and sex workers are also more likely to contract HIV.
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Treatment of HIV/AIDS
Nowadays, we have better treatments for HIV than ever before. Antiretroviral therapy (ART) is a combination of medications, usually taken as pills, that lowers the amount of HIV in the body, reducing the damage it can do to a person's immune system. It can even reduce the amount of HIV (also know as the "viral load") so much that it becomes impossible to detect on standard blood tests. When this happens, the HIV is undetectable, and when HIV is undetectable in a person's system, they are no longer at risk of transmitting it to another person through sex. Undetectable = Untransmittable. As long as an HIV+ person remains on ART, they should be able to live a normal, healthy life; however, if they stop treatment, their viral load can go back up, and they can once again transmit the virus to other people. There is currently no cure for HIV, though there are always new advancements being made, and there is hope for a cure in the future!
HIV prevention:
PrEP & PEP
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​Preventing HIV is now easier than ever. In addition to always using barrier methods when having sex and never sharing needles, people who are at risk of contracting HIV can take a medication called PrEP, which lowers your chance of contracting HIV by up to 99%. If you think you might have been exposed to HIV, you can take a series of medications called PEP, which can lower your chances of contracting HIV by over 80%.
What is PrEP?
PrEP stands for Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis. Usually taken as a once-daily pill, PrEP is for anyone who is not HIV+ and is sexually active. There are also injectable options for PrEP, usually as a shot given every other month or every six months. PrEP shots can be a good option for you if you're not likely to remember to take a pill every day. PrEP doesn't prevent against other STIs, so it's important to still use barrier methods when having sex on PrEP. Once you're on PrEP, you'll need to get tested for HIV every few months, and you can also get tested for STIs at the same time.
What is PEP?
​PEP stands for Post-Exposure Prophylaxis. PEP consists of a series of pills taken 1-2 times a day every day for one month. PEP is more effective when you start it as soon as possible after you think you might have been exposed to HIV, and it must be started within 72 hours, or 3 days, of the suspected exposure. Sometimes while taking PEP people report mild side effects like stomach aches or fatigue.
How can you access PrEP & PEP?
It's easy to get on PrEP, or to get PEP if you need it. PrEP can be prescribed to you by your health care provider or a local sexual health center like Planned Parenthood. PEP is available at emergency rooms, and may be available at your doctor's office or at a local sexual health center, but it's a good idea to call and check first.
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If you need help finding a provider, try this tool from Greater Than or go to our find a provider page. Usually, PrEP and PEP are covered by health insurance, but if you don't have insurance or need help covering any costs, your doctor or a local sexual health center can help you apply for medication assistance programs.