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identity
When we talk about identity in the context of sexuality, it helps to understand the parts of who we are that make up our sexual identity.
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sexual orientation - who, if anyone, are you sexually attracted to?
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romantic orientation - who, if anyone, are you romantically attracted to?
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gender identity - what is your internal sense of your gender?
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gender expression - how do you express your gender?
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biological sex - what body parts and reproductive organs do you have?
Other aspects of your identity can also impact your experiences with sexuality.
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How do our experiences with other parts of our intersectional identities, power, and privilege impact our sexuality?​
identity: who you are
Your sexual identity is comprised of the parts of who you are that are most closely related to sex and sexuality. Understanding your sexual identity can help you understand yourself, who you do (and don't) want to engage in sexual activity with, and how you do (or don't) want to engage in sexual activity.
sexual orientation - who, if anyone, are you sexually attracted to? Most of the time, people define their sexual orientation by which gender(s) they might want to engage in sexual activity with.​
romantic orientation - who, if anyone, are you romantically attracted to? Most of the time, people define their romantic orientation by which gender(s) they might want to engage in a romantic relationship with.​
gender identity - what is your internal sense of your gender? Your gender identity can shape the way that you define other parts of your sexual identity. It can also impact who might want to engage in sexual or romantic relationships with you. For example, if you identify as a straight woman, a man who identifies as gay is unlikely to be interested in a sexual or romantic relationship with you.
gender expression - how do you express your gender? People express their gender through the way they look, speak, interact with others, and more. Sometimes, people are attracted to certain gender expressions just as much as certain gender identities. For example, a lesbian might be attracted to masculine gender expression, but only in women or nonbinary people.
biological sex - what body parts and reproductive organs do you have? The body parts you have impact what kinds of sexual activity you can engage in. It can also impact who wants to engage in sexual activity with you. Sometimes, but not always, people have a preference for what kind of genitals their sexual partners have.
intersectionality
"This idea that we all have the same life is false. Race, class, gender all come together to shape the life chances of people in very different ways."
- Kimberlé Crenshaw
​What parts of our identities and experiences shape who we are?
Ask yourself...
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How have other aspects of your identity and experiences shaped your sexual identity?
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How do your sexual identity and experiences interact with your other identities and experiences?
Looking for support with navigating the intersection of your sexual health and/or queer identities with the other parts of who you are? Check out some of the other identity-specific resources below!
power & privilege
Power refers to the ability to influence and make decisions that affect other people.
Privilege refers to the advantages and benefits that people receive because of the identities they hold or the social groups they belong to.
How do our sexual identities and experiences shape our relationships with power and privilege?
Ask yourself...
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What parts of your sexual identity result in you having more or less privilege or power in society? What about in specific sexual or romantic relationships?
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What other parts of your identity and experiences give you more or less privilege or power in society and in your relationships?
What does it mean to hold power or have privilege in sexual and romantic relationships?
Sometimes, unbalanced power dynamics can lead to uncomfortable or unsafe situations. Some of these can be resolved through open communication, and others can't.
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For example: someone who is over 18 holds power and privilege over a younger person that cannot be resolved through communication; a person who is over 18 cannot have a consenting sexual or romantic relationship with someone under 18.
But a transgender person can have a healthy and fulfilling relationship with a cisgender person, if they have open conversations about how their gender identities may impact their experiences in their relationship, and how any potential issues could be resolved.